


What Could Have Been

by nerdlife4eva



Series: Nerd's Chasing Gold Zine Story [6]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Celebrations, Competition, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Major Character Injury, Misunderstandings, Rivalry, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 06:22:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13851897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdlife4eva/pseuds/nerdlife4eva
Summary: Why is Victor pining so hard for Yuuri in this AU? Why is Yuuri so sure that Victor doesn't want him?This is the flashback fic that explains it all.The playlist for this AU can be found here:CG Playlist





	What Could Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of my work for the [YOI Chasing Gold zine](https://yoichasinggoldzine.tumblr.com)! These zines and bundles are going FAST! Last day for preorders is March 9th! Please visit the blog to get yours today! 
> 
> I have commissioned art of Minami and Yuri from this AU from the incredible [Bichiiart](https://bichiiart.tumblr.com). I can't wait to show it to everyone as soon as it is complete! 
> 
> Also, there are 2 more fics which will be posted before orders close on March 9th. And then the big race for Minami and Yuri will be a part of the zine :) (and eventually posted here once I have free to do so)
> 
> If you want to talk to me about this AU or about anything YOI, please come find me on Twitter or Tumblr!  
> [NeRdLife4Eva Twitter](https://twitter.com/NeRdLife4Eva)  
> [n3rdlif343va Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/n3rdlif343va)
> 
> If you are interested in reading my other Victuuri AUs you can find them here:  
> [Crash Into Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12527876/chapters/28528088)  
> [Be My Chef, Yuuri](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10102205)  
> [Law Firm of Katsuki, Nikiforov and Chulanont](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11084109/chapters/24724854)  
> [Katsuki's Pet Needs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11403003/chapters/25540758)

There was a sense of relief which followed every competition. Sometimes it had the stain of failure mixed into the full body exhaustion. Other times, there was the thrill of success battling against the need for rest and recovery.

The Olympic athletes’ village thrived with this energy. Athletes who had already competed celebrated their victories and nursed their defeats. Those who had yet to compete were still thrumming with the nervous energy of performing in front of the entire world. Age couldn’t shake the power of these emotions and experience could only pretend to dull it. No one was immune, and no one wanted to be.

Waving a sloppy goodbye to Phichit, Yuuri dangled his open bottle of champagne from his fingers, walking barefoot through the grass. Phichit had asked for luck with a wink as he made a daring move toward one of his fellow competitors, leaving Yuuri alone to his own devices. Those devices were apparently champagne-flavored and without a limit.

Feeling the effects of the alcohol swimming through his brain, Yuuri stepped from the grass into the sand, stopping to close his eyes and sighing as the breeze tickled across his face.

“Katsuki Yuuri.”

Victor had hesitated to speak. Yuuri had stumbled onto the beach looking completely relaxed and at peace, making Victor consider slipping away without disturbing him. He couldn’t make himself move, his gaze taking in Yuuri’s beauty in the light of the moon. Yuuri had always been beautiful, sometimes terrifyingly so. His determined glare at the starting line, the smirking glint of a smile when he stood above Victor on the podium, the serious set to his face when he stood below Victor on the same platforms; each version of Yuuri was a sight to behold. Although nothing compared to the delicate smile and flushed cheeks currently taking over Yuuri’s face as he turned in Victor’s direction.

“Victor Nikiforov.” Unsteadiness plaguing his feet, Yuuri struggled not to trip over himself, taking a few steps and dropping down on the sand next to Victor. His heart drummed in an unsteady beat, a reasonable reaction to finding Victor alone without the usual gaggle of admirers who stalked him through every competition. In all their years as competitors, they had never found themselves alone and Yuuri could feel the anticipation rising inside of him.

Warmth spread over Victor’s side. Yuuri sank down next to him, their sides pressing together when their shoulders bumped. Victor’s mind struggled for something to say when Yuuri didn’t pull away from their contact. For years Victor had competed with Yuuri, admired him from the professional distance that Yuuri seemed to desire, and fawned over his amazing skills through each mile they raced. He had wanted this for years, a chance to simply talk to Yuuri without the pressure of their friends, sponsors and fans watching their every move. Tonight, on what Victor was contemplating to be the last night of his Olympic career, he was finally getting the opening. And he was completely tongue-tied.

“You disappeared from the party,” Yuuri commented, offering the champagne bottle to Victor and smiling when Victor grinned. His mind stuttered watching Victor lift the bottle to his lips, the simple movement causing Victor’s Adam’s apple to bob in his neck. His beautiful neck which lead to his flawlessly strong shoulders and tantalizing arms which Yuuri had dreamed about from the first time he had seen Victor fly through the water. Swallowing hard, Yuuri tried to pull his eyes away from Victor’s face.

Dropping the bottle from his mouth, Victor shrugged. “I think I am getting too old.” He wasn’t sure if he meant for the partying or for competing, and he wasn’t sure he didn’t mean both. “I think this is my last one. Goodbye Olympics, it’s been nice knowing you.” Tipping the bottle toward the noise coming from the village, Victor took another long swig of champagne. For so long he had been able to ride the high of preparing for a competition, the adrenaline that came from each triathlon, and then coast on the wave of victory until the next cycle began. Today had proved to him that his ability to keep this habit up had fizzled out. He was left feeling empty and confused, and definitely not in the mood for a party.

“Old?” Yuuri spat, twisting to gape at Victor. “First, look at you. You’re gorgeous, not old.” He blushed through his drunkenness, shaking his head. “Our scores were separated by less than a second. I’m three years younger than you. Maybe I’m getting old…” Brows furrowing, Yuuri sighed. “It wouldn’t be any fun to compete without you. You challenge me, hell I have admired you for longer than we have been rivals.” Yuuri held his fingers up in air quotes around the word rivals. Shaking his head, Yuuri stared out at the water. “But if it doesn’t make you happy, it isn’t worth it. I guess I will have to get used to standing on the podium with less attractive competition.” Somewhere in his room was a gold medal that he would gladly hand over if it meant Victor would keep competing. He couldn’t imagine his athletic life without Victor’s challenging, beautiful presence constantly there, pushing him to be his best. Prepared to offer up his medal for Victor’s reconsideration, Yuuri looked up at Victor.

Every ounce of Victor’s attraction to Yuuri slammed into his heart as Yuuri’s eyes shone with sincerity, pinning Victor in place. Led by instinct, Victor lifted a hand to touch Yuuri’s cheek gently. He studied Yuuri’s eyes, trying to gauge how drunk his crush really was. Before he could make a decision, Yuuri’s hand curled in the fabric of his t-shirt, yanking Victor forward into a sweet kiss.

Yuuri would never be able to identify what caused his sudden burst of confidence, but as Victor matched him in effort and skill, shifting their bodies to press closer as they continued to kiss each other mindless, he realized it didn’t matter. He had thought about kissing Victor a number of times over their years battling against each other and now he was finally fulfilling that desire.

Letting his hands slide onto Yuuri’s hips, Victor prayed he wasn’t dreaming. He had imagined many situations where he ended up in Yuuri’s arms, and the pessimistic side of his brain was eager to convince him that the moment would dissolve into a lonely reality at any minute. Instead, Victor felt the press of Yuuri’s fingers on the back of his neck and the vibration of Yuuri’s shaking hand resting on the top of his thigh. His heart and body wanted every second Yuuri was willing to give and he broke the kiss, reaching up to hold Yuuri’s cheeks, pressing their foreheads together. “Yuuri… I…”

“My roommate left.” Yuuri blurted the statement out, unsure as to what he was trying to offer. He didn’t want the moment to be over, but he also didn’t want to continue kissing Victor where anyone could happen upon them. Yuuri could feel his lips tingling, the lingering sensation making him feel breathless. It would be easy to lose himself in Victor and he wanted to do so, in private.

“Are you asking me to…” Victor didn’t know how to finish the sentence. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, his heart hoping for too much and his mind convinced of too little. Leaning back, Victor resumed his studying of Yuuri’s face.

“I’m asking you to come spend time with me. Let me see you like this, just like you are now, for a little longer.” Yuuri felt the fuzziness of the champagne still clinging to the edges of his mind. Licking his lips, he placed a soft kiss to Victor’s forehead. “No coaches, no media, no fans. Just you and me. If you want.” He pulled Victor’s hands from his face, lacing their fingers together and placing them in his lap.

“Yes,” Victor whispered, leaning in to steal another kiss. “I’ll stop by my room first, if you give me your room number. I’ll meet you there.” Every dream he had of this moment felt like it was coming true. Even if they didn’t kiss again, even if it was a night where they would hide away in silence together, it would be perfect because they would be there together. Chris had teased Victor about his massive crush on his rival, but Chris really had no idea. Victor had been gone over Yuuri Katsuki for years and kissing him had certainly cemented that fact.

Taking a pen from his pocket Yuuri wrote his room number on Victor’s wrist with a little heart underneath it. Victor marveled at Yuuri’s careful writing, smiling when Yuuri squeezed his hand. He watched as Yuuri stood, taking the hand that Yuuri offered him and allowing himself to be pulled up. Hand-in-hand they headed back to the confines of the village, sharing one more kiss before going their separate ways.

Yuuri broke out into a run as soon as Victor was around the corner. His room was a bit of a disaster after his roommate had chosen to leave the day before. He couldn’t risk having Victor see it completely disheveled and thinking that Yuuri was an irresponsible slob. Using all of his remaining energy, Yuuri bolted for his room, determined to pick up all of his belongings and sneak a quick shower before Victor arrived.

Pushing open the door to his room, Victor snagged his backpack from his bed, lifting a set of pajamas and his cell charger into the red and white bag. Ducking into the bathroom, he grabbed his tooth brush, humming as he tossed it in with the other items.

In his pocket, his cell phone began to ring and Victor pulled it out. Seeing Mila’s name on the screen he almost ignored the call but sighed and answered. If Mila needed rescuing she was going to have to call one of their other teammates tonight. “Mila…” Victor answered, his tone warning that she had interrupted something important. The sound of tears had him freezing.

“Victor, get your stuff together, we’re going home.” Mila sobbed, choking back tears in an attempt to keep talking. “It’s Yuri. He collapsed. Some infection or something. He might die.”

The last word was a punch to Victor’s stomach. With his heart beat pounding in his ears, he began to throw anything he could get his hands on into the closest bags. The room door banged open, revealing Otabek who was white as a ghost and covered in his own tears. Silently, Victor hung up the phone on Mila, nodding toward Otabek. Together they cleared their belongings into their bags, hauling all of their gear and equipment to the lobby where a shaken Mila and a crying Georgi were waiting next to a stone-faced Yakov.  Wordlessly, they climbed into the waiting van, none of them able to speak through their worry and grief. Wrapping an arm around Mila, Victor fought back his own tears, mind fading to black as he listened to Yakov discuss the details over the phone with Yuri’s grandfather.

Stood up without an explanation and alone in his room, Yuuri Katsuki fell asleep in the midst of his own tears.

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to my wonderful beta [atelerixe](https://atelerixe.tumblr.com) !!!!


End file.
